And That’s Why There Is No Ice Cream In Samoa

Interesting factoids, nuggets and brain droppings…

There are no cows in American Samoa. It seems the bovine creatures dislike air travel and are prone to severe bouts of seasickness and so none have immigrated to this particular U.S. territory. Some cows have adopted Samoa’s unique style of tattoo art to express their love and longing for a land they’ll never see. The Islanders themselves are unaware of this shortage as many Samoan women have been mistaken for certain breeds of heifer.

The persimmon can no longer be grown on planet earth and has become virtually extinct. When asked about this phenomenon scientists and horticulturists responded, “What’s a persimmon?”

“Davey Jones’ Locker” is not a mythical place, it actually exists and is on view to the public on the Universal Studios Tour. It is displayed right next to Peter Tork’s closet.

Despite their name, dandelions are not a particularly vicious form of vegetation. I don’t think they are even carnivores.

Scientists have recently detected gamma rays emanating from the depths of the Pacific Ocean near old atomic bomb test sites. Japanese filmmakers are on high alert.

Contrary to common folk legend, cats don’t always land on their feet. Ask Fluffy The Gimp.

“Gimp” is not a derogatory or offensive term when applied to members of the feline family. Dogs, however, take exception to the word and will bite the user.

At the turn of the century in Mexico, parachutes used to come with a parasocks.

Utah does not really exist. It is a figment of our collective imagination. People who claim to be from, or to have visited, Utah are highly mistaken. Testament to the enormous delusional powers of the human mind. PBS is scheduled to do a series on this topic for “Nova.” Unfortunately, the film crew dispatched to document the story has not been heard from and seem to have vanished into thin air. “Thin air” was collectively imagined to have existed in Utah’s higher elevations. Coincidence?

Porcupines are unable to vomit. Woodchucks have been known to upchuck, however. Especially after chucking more wood than a rational woodchuck should chuck.

Well kids, that’s it for this installment of Uncle Philbert’s “Imagine That, Who Knew?” A regular feature on Philbertosophy The Blog. See you next time!

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4 Comments on “And That’s Why There Is No Ice Cream In Samoa”

  1. Budd Hodges Says:

    Interesting factoids Phil. That’s why I couldn’t find an ice creme cone in American Samoa! Damn those sea sick cows.

  2. Tom Says:

    Oh Oh! Now you’ve gone too far. You wrote Samoan women have been mistaken for certain breeds of heifers?Are you unaware of the huge influence heifers have in California alone.My advice to you is never turn your back on a heifer.These are dangerous times in which we live.You will be hoisted on your own petard.ER— something like that.And I hear that is very painful.

  3. Dr. Adam Baum Says:

    Update re: gamma rays from the Pacific Ocean. M. Night Shyamalamananan has dispatched himself to the site, and even at this moment is penning the screenplay for a movie about it. He promises this movie will be, like all his others, based on an interesting and exciting premise, and followed up with horrible execution.

  4. Lisa Cole Says:

    Daring Jumping Spiders truly are the Evel Kinevels of the arachnid world.


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